good-lace's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1st test and burned my boob I got my first test done this morning. It's called a Positron Emission Mammography (PEM) with FDG (radioactive glucose). The technology is so new that it's in a clinical trial. My doctor asked me to become part of this protocol to test these new methods of detecting breast cancer. 500 people will take part in this research study, and I'm one of them. To be very honest, I'm in such a fog that if the doctor told me to square dance 24/7 for the next 2 weeks, I would. It's funny how one's reason shuts down when faced with such a serious situation. Someone tells me to take two steps forward and one step left, and that's exactly what I do. I'm not thinking clearly, so, I have to trust others to guide me through this. I have to constantly remind myself that it hasn't been diagnosed malignant, and the odds say it's probably benign. Except, my odds are not the same as the average woman. I know I've mentioned that my sister died of breast cancer, but I don't know if I've ever mentioned that my paternal grandmother lost a breast to cancer, and my maternal aunt lost two breasts to cancer. My aunt and grandmother survived. What's so ironic is that my aunt and grandmother had breast cancer something like 30 or so years ago, and they survived, yet, my sister had it 8 yrs. ago and they couldn't save her life. It all depends on the aggressiveness of the strain of cancer, and when it's detected. About the test this morning, I got there at 9am. I didn't eat since 6:30p last night, but I could drink water, thank goodness. I waited to be seen, then gave my medical history, then a doctor came in to inject me with the radioactive glucose. It burned the shit out of my hand going in, but it was tolerable. (I have a huge knot on the top of my hand.) Then I had to sit still in a waiting room for the radioactive stuff to go all over my body. It really wouldn't have been too bad waiting, except they wouldn't let me walk around. I had to sit still for the hour. Then they put one breast at a time into a vise. It's not painful like a regular mammogram, but it's not fun. I had to sit with my breast in that vise for 10 mins. while the machine scanned it. Then repeated with the other just for good measure. All was well, except by that time I hadn't eaten in 18 hours, and I was getting very light headed. A few times I thought I was about to go down. I left the hospital intending to go to work. I drove straight to the coffee shop and got a large latte. By the time I got the coffee, I was so weak and shaking. When I tried to take my first sip, I spilled the crap all down the front of me. Burned like hell. I buttoned my jacket, and went to Subway for a chicken wrap. I felt so sorry for myself that I came home. Here I sit having a pity party for myself. Hell, I need to buck up. It's only just begun. 2:15 p.m. - 2004-02-19 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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